Should I do a First Look?
This one is tricky, and I would say that about 50% of the weddings I shoot feature a first look between the bride and groom. And people tend to have pretty strong opinions on whether or not you should do one! Fortunately, I do not. I am totally cool capturing a wedding without a first look and a wedding with a first look. They offer different vibes, neither being better than the other. But it is a huge deal, and while some might see the kiss as the crescendo of the wedding day, I would argue that the groom seeing his bride for the first time absolutely eclipses the significance of the kiss in about every way.
So let’s take a moment and look at the pros and cons of including a first look on your wedding day…
Pros:
It’s significant.
I often tell couples that, contrary to what most opposed to first looks would argue, the first look does not ruin the processional at the ceremony. The first look and the moment where the bride comes down the aisle are both significant in different ways. And couples often tell me that even though they did a first look, the moment they shared as the bride was escorted down the aisle is just a drastically different moment that can’t be compared to the first look, and it’s almost as if they’ve taken two meaningful moments and separated them in order to enjoy them distinctly.
The wedding day timeline is easier to manage.
If you do a first look, it gives you the flexibility of doing couple portraits, family pictures, and bridal party pictures before the ceremony, if you want to. Since you can’t do those without the couple present, those are impossible to do if the couple is waiting until the ceremony to see each other.
It can help with nerves
Couples often express extreme nerves on the wedding day. In almost every instance of there being a first look, I have noticed a drastic shift in the mood following the first look. There is a rush of calm that seems to come over both of them. I will often ask the couple if the first look helped, and they almost always say “yes.”
It is private
Most people aren’t used to being the center of attention. The pressure to react during the ceremony is real, and grooms can feel overwhelmed by the amount of people staring at them anxiously awaiting tears. But this pressure will be lessened if a first look has already happened. The couple is much more free to be emotional in the privacy of the first look, so those feelings are more likely to come out.
It can be documented more comprehensively
The first look is far more controlled than the ceremony, so it’s easier to document. You don’t run the risk of Uncle Ronald sticking his 12 inch iPad in front of the camera at the most important moment. Greater control means it is more likely that the moment will be documented flawlessly and preserved. Additionally, there is a minute after the first look to have a separate moment, that is usually really sweet, a moment you wouldn’t get at the ceremony, since the officiant would immediately jump into the “we have gathered here today” formalities
It alleviates panic
Trying to protect the bride from being seen is stressful, and most wedding days include some moments in which the bride momentarily panics as a groomsman rounds a corner who she thought might’ve been the groom or a window is open where the groom could see her. Having a first look relieves so much tension, since the bride has already been seen and everybody can relax a bit more.
Ok, that’s a lot of pros, but first looks aren’t always 100% positive. So let’s take a look at why you might want to consider foregoing a first look and stick to the traditional first look during the ceremony.
Cons:
It’s awkward
It’s not everyday you have multiple cameras recording you and taking photos as you stand in the middle of a walkway and stare at each other, knowing that the moment will be preserved possibly for generations. It’s a different kind of pressure, and a lot of couples tell me they aren’t comfortable doing a first look, and I honestly get why.
It breaks tradition
There is something meaningful about the preservation of tradition. In this case, the tradition of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony. That is a powerful moment, and if you’re the type of person who likes traditions and also would rather delay seeing each other until the big crescendo at the ceremony (almost like refusing to look at your Christmas gifts early, even though you found the hiding spot in your parents’ closet and they said it was ok), then maybe a first look isn’t for you!
It can go wrong
It doesn’t happen often, but the intimacy of a first look can be sharply interrupted by car alarms, DJ’s setting up their audio, groomsman who have no reverence for a serious moment, or the groom accidentally turning around too early. There is a lot of control, but some things just are outside of immediate control.
There is still pressure
As I mentioned above, a first look can reduce the pressure of the ceremony. But it can also transfer that pressure into the first look, which could be worse. The real question you need to consider is this - would I rather feel that emotional tension in a private setting or in front of my friends and family? Different people are comfortable in different settings, so this one is really more of a preference.
Ultimately, this one is up to you! Even though I listed more pro’s than con’s, that doesn’t mean I’m team first look. Really, it comes down to what you want out of your wedding day. Weddings are stressful because you feel the pressure to make everyone else happy, and it can be easy to forget what you want. So for the first look, ask yourself what you want, and consider your answer to be the best decision, whatever that might be!
